I'll Keep That in Mind

It's funny how someone can outline your entire situation or give you impeccable advice before you even finish a story.

Example:
You: "I can't believe 'Person A' did 'Action X' to 'Person B'..."
Them: "Well, you should..." Or the ever so popular: "If I were you..."

Damn! Can I finish the story...please?!?! Maybe I already made up my mind. The story might not even end the way you're expecting it to end! It's like those people that spend an entire crime drama or thriller talking about who did it and why, knowing good and well they have NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO Clue! Just hush! Be patient. You'll get a turn to talk and look smart. Just give it a little while.

Prime example from the other day. I'm telling my program director about how my team is struggling because no one has the expertise to complete the tasks at hand, at least not without the proper instruction or direction. I told him the group we've been communicating with is giving us these tech-jargon intense e-mails and extremely concise e-mails. Before I could finish telling him what it was we were doing to alleviate all of the drama surrounding the project, he jumps in with about two too many arrogant suggestions.

#1: "Come by my office, and I'll give you guys some tips..."
What the f?!? Do you even know what's going on?!? Have we spoken about this project since, I don't know, saaaaaay Januaray? I don't think so. So, what kinds of tips are you gonna give me? Unless it begins and ends with "Just enjoy the weather and have some drinks on me. You're a bright star around here. So, it's not important that you work on this project anyway." I don't really want to hear it.

#2: "Maybe you guys just need to get motivated..."
Well, you just succeeded in motivating me to slap you!...and I'm not even a violent person. I would hate to be in a position that perpetually caused me to put my foot in my mouth so I had more just cause to talk outta my butt.

So, with all that being said, I'm sure you can understand why, with world class advice like that, I am going to let the experience and lack of experience of others guide the rest of my life decisions. Thank you and good night.