So, I was speaking with some friends about the openness a couple should share during marriage. The Bible says that Adam and Eve stood naked before one another, meaning there were no secrets between them. They shared everything. Getting to the point, I asked one of my friends at the table if she would tell her husband the process she went through while she pledged her sorority. She said, "No. That has nothing to do with our marriage." She said that it's none of the spouse's business what the organization's process is and shouldn't matter. She said that it's not like keeping a secret from her spouse because it's not her secret...it's the secret of the organization and not hers to tell.
My arguement is that it's a part of her life history...therefore, it has everything to do with her marriage. I also told her that I felt the loyalty promised during wedding vows supercedes everything except a direct command from the Almighty. After putting forth numerous situations, including a concerned father wanting to know what his daughter might be subjected to during pledging, she held her stance. My question is: Where is the line drawn on what you'd tell your significant other? Should there be a boundary after a certain period of time? Should you be worried that you cannot trust them with the information?
Please weigh in.
2 comments:
i don't know people in fraternities and sororities see that part of the their lives as a process that they went through and that they won't necessarily share...many people that are in them marry someone who is in one and they understand...if his daughter has concerns she'll talk to her mother
when you become one you are right you are supposed to bar all, become naked mentally, physically and emotionally with your loved one...but your loved one should also understand and TRUST that anything that is kept "just for you" such as a pledging would be because there was nothing done that would hinder or dampen the relationship...some things about my love past love lives i just do NOT want to know...that was your life then, YES its apart of the story but some things i believe can be left unsaid...
its not about secrets its about that you are right that vow once taken means more than any other vow given, that's why even though i am in a sorority that says, my sorority should come first, i know otherwise that its about my husband and my family...
the line? ummmm i don't think i have one, i think i am open to tell anything you know
I agree with you and also T.C's comment.
While I would tell my spouse anything he wanted to know, there are some things that aren't open to discussion if they can put someone's trust in me in jeopardy. I would hope that my spouse would respect that level of integrity as a positive trait in me and not think that I'm keeping things from him.
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