Mentor

What makes a good mentor? They should be very well-rounded and knowledgeable. They should be patient and know how to deal with many different personalities. They should also have the same values and morals as yourself or the person you want to become. That being said, I just want to say that the best type of mentor to have is the one God provides you on his time. I was two inches from being broken when I had my first conversation with Dr. Charlie Nelms, quite possibly the best mentor in North America.

This man helped me back up to the top with a handful of short meetings that provided me with a wealth of knowledge even when he wasn't talking. I didn't even know my mentor's reputation was so strong for most of the time I knew him because he never boasted. He was so humble it humbled me that he would take time out of his schedule as a Vice President at one of the nation's largest universities to help me. Now that I've taken the time to put that into perspective, I feel so blessed and am infinitely grateful. He spread my name around to some very important people so I would have the opportunity to gain experiences that will differentiate me for the rest of my life.

So, I went to his office yesterday to give him a thank you card and a gift to show my appreciation. He ended up giving me all types of useful advice about the sings some people are afraid to say and others just don't know.

• Cologne
• Wear a cologne that is very soft and barely noticeable, like Kenneth Cole's "Black". I have some of that, and he said my Burberry Brit is too strong :( He also told me you should not put cologne on your hands because the scent will stick since they are so porous. He told me to use a towel or handkerchief to apply it and also not to get it on my clothes for the same reason.
• Jokes
• Don't tell jokes to people at work. Keep your cool and try not to add anything to conversations of any questionable nature. People will always be trying to bait you in the business world whether it is to find out something about you and use it against you or because you normally wouldn't give the information. NO JOKES...always keep your poker face on and make it hard for people to decipher how you're feeling.
• Backups
• Always be prepared. Keep extra collar stays, cuff links (ha ha...I had to run to Michigan Ave. in Chicago a few hours before an interview because I forgot some last year), handkerchiefs, and lotion in your desk, briefcase, and car.
• Clothing
• He told me I shouldn't wear button-down collars because I have a short neck (it's actually just thick from when I played football...). He also said it's worth it to get my shirts professionally laundered and never buy the "wrinkle-free" blends. 100% COTTON ONLY. Let's see...he also said that I should pre-spot everything, ALWAYS!
• Jewelry
• Wear it on the weekend. You aren't at work to look good. You're there to make a name for yourself and move up.
• Scrutiny
• When you walk into a room you will immediately be evaluated as a black man first, not a man, not a businessman...a black man above all else. So, keep a fresh line in your hair and shave every morning no matter how annoying it is. Never go below khakis and a polo shirt on 'casual' days.
  

What does one say to all of this? Nothing. Listen, learn, live, and apply.